Well okay, it might hurt emotionally when you get into therapy and start peeling away the layers you have built around whatever the issue is that currently impacts your life in a negative way, but it is always so worth it.
As the year of hell that was 2020 came to an end, 16 residents and my dad were taken by this virus. I get close to my residents, it is hard not too when providing the intimate level of care that we do in assisted living and nursing home communities. Then of course the loss of my dad was the final straw for me. I knew from losing my mom that therapy was going to be a must for me to work through things.
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My daughter told me about a place called The Eve Center, a free, peer counseling organization. Those providing the therapy go through extensive training that is all faith based. Through an initial interview that helps them learn about the client, ladies are matched with someone who is able to help. I was linked up with a wonderful counselor and we clicked immediately. (FYI – there is a brother organization for men, The Adam Center) Not only did I work through some grief, and guilt about my relationship with my dad, I learned I had codependency issues. Only it wasn’t what I thought, as I never covered for my dad’s drinking as he was not a typical alcoholic that one thinks of, drunk etc. He hid it very well until the later years.
My codependency issues were thinking I needed to care for everyone and everything. Not a shock that I work in healthcare! I needed to learn to establish boundaries and to say ‘no’ when asked to help or do something for someone if I didn’t really want too or have the time. Another thing I needed to address in this area was self care. One cannot pour from an empty cup! Trust me I was trying.
The first thing I did was find a way to take care of me. I ditched a subscription box I loved and now spend the monthly fee on a walking app, 99 Walks (click the link and get a sweet discount if you decide to join). Every month is a different bracelet that you earn when you achieve your goal for miles walked, a number you set for yourself. There are podcasts and music on the app to make walking enjoyable. I personally listen to podcasts from church or music in my phone, sometimes use the time to pray. I love to walk and this has been a good thing for me!
The next thing I have done to take care of me is starting to cut junk out of my diet and try intermittent fasting. I only eat between the hours of 10am and 6pm. I’m leaning further toward the healthy foods and far away from sugar and junk carbs. Lots of fresh fruits and veggies are the name of the game for me now. I even have returned to drinking black coffee, no more creamer. As that goes along I will let you know how things are going. Most of all, it is making me feel better over all and that is what matters!
So there is just a little of what is going on in my life. More to come!
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Marti Gardner 