How are YOU doing?
I have been asking this on my Facebook page, using this graphic, to be sure if one of my friends or family is struggling I reach out. Not everyone is able to put into words where they are but most can relate to a colored heart.
I’ve been all over the colors from red to blue. Below the blue hasn’t happened for me but then I am able to stay connected to my support system, my family. Living with my sister we check in with each other about it all. We talk about things daily. Our fears, concerns, and we laugh. Both of us work in health care and are from a family of cops and fire fighters so our sense of humor is kinda dark and twisted at times. But the memes coming out of all this are keeping us laughing. THIS is a good thing. I’m able to Facetime with the grand-snugglers and kids.
Sleep has been lacking. See, we can all put up a happy face, even to ourselves. But underneath it all we all carry concerns and stress. I’m no different. I go to work and my heart breaks for these residents who have memory issues and cannot fathom why no one in their family has visited them. Our community is using iPads and phones to do video chats with family so that is a major help. But sadly many will forget that phone call before the sun sets on the very day of the communication. Sometimes as soon as it is over. We aren’t supposed to touch them more than necessary, no hugs etc. This is very difficult and sometimes cannot be helped because they NEED that hug and we are the only one there to give it. Thankfully no one has had a single symptom so we just keep praying we locked down in time and that all the orders in place for stay home are working to protect them, the truly vulnerable. In the back of our minds we all wonder if we’ve been in contact with someone outside that is contagious and therefore we may be carrying a death sentence and not yet know it. Me? I go to work and come home. I am not willing to risk my health, let alone that of my residents. Just not worth it.
I’m trying to limit the news intake, I reached information overload and as mentioned above, sleep was being interrupted. I didn’t feel stressed by it all, but insomnia was becoming a problem the past week. Combine that with working 9 days straight and I was just D.O.N.E. Last night I started sipping Sleep Time Extra tea, praying the valerian root would help. Little sis also had some melatonin so I took 10mg of that as well. Talk about getting loopy and drowsy, this Nana was ready to crash, and did! Oh and add that weighted blanket and I was down and out. Last thing I remember was thinking I should bang on the ceiling because the asshat upstairs was herding water buffalo in his apartment again and I feared I’d never sleep through it. I did though, OH how I slept. Took a bit for the fog to lift when I woke up. I think my cat gave me up for dead because she wasn’t there waiting for my eyes to open to feed her when I did wake up.
For the most part my life has not changed much as I’m not the party type anymore. No bars or clubs, just work and home. Obviously not going out to eat now, or to the store unless necessary. And sadly that is something I have to do later today and I’m not happy about it at all. But this girl is a home body, an introvert that gains her energy to recharge when home and away from the crowds. I’m crocheting and binging TV shows on Netflix, Hulu and such. I think it is the knowing I cannot just go hang out somewhere and the why attached, that make it feel weird being home.
I’m good, sporting a red heart today. Going to send some cards to friends and family because I want to spread some cheer.
How are YOU?
Marti Gardner 