Do I Look That Stupid?

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Every so often I will get a new follower on my Instagram account, Facebook or Twitter. I’m sure if you are a female, walking upright and breathing you know the ones I refer too. Decent looking, dressed very nice in all photos, pictures in exotic places or with fancy cars and other ‘toys’. Then suddenly come the private messages..hello my good friend… Seriously???? Good friend? We have never met and I just accepted your friend request so I can see your profile to see if we have mutual friends or whatever and now we are suddenly good friends? Oh please. Each time they are followed by less than 50 people, all women, and they are following hundreds of others, also all women. If you let it play out eventually they declare their desire and/or undying love. *puke*

I don’t know who is behind them or what kind of scam it is, but really??? Not buying what you are selling. No one with money enough to actually own the car or yacht you are on is going to be interested in a mid-western divorced mom and nana. I’m just not that stupid and hope to God I don’t look it!

Years back I had done several photo shoots that were risque to say the least. My ex and I were waltzing our life down a rather sinful path in life. Oh the weirdos that crept out of the dark corners then. Even one who claimed to be like a campaign manager for one of the presidential candidates one year prior to the official nomination for the party (caught in a scandal, imagine that). He could never reveal his identity, though claimed to live in an upscale private beach area of Florida and be friends with a number of celebrities and even had been to the Playboy mansion many times for A-list parties. Whatever. For a short time I fell for it, he even claimed (after my divorce) that he was going to come in to town and convince me to leave my spouse. Um go for it dude, I’ll enjoy the chats on the phone, IMs on yahoo, but if you think I am really that dumb you are in need of a mental check up. I played along for a few years (yes it went on even after the divorce) because it was entertaining. But no one with the money and clout of this claimed identity would have any interest in a basically unknown, un-glamourous woman like myself.

And then there was the bagpiper on twitter. He didn’t trust Facebook, or Instagram so didn’t have accounts, which raised a serious red flag. When I did some research, “Johnny Thunder”  had a thing for trying to get high-end call girls to marry him (so why ya bothering me???) and it was all over various sites when I googled his screen name. He was always “coming to town” to meet me but it never happened. Because why? FAKE! Oh it was fun and kept me entertained for a bit but then it too got old and boring.

Where do these guys get this? Are they scammers? Um, like have you seen my credit report? No money, honey, and the credit rating isn’t anything to write home about either. You seriously are flirting with the wrong person. Move on, darlin’, this girl is not what you seek.

This Nana has a brain, douche canoes gentlemen, please go fascinate someone else.

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