November 8th, 2018 ~ 30 Days

How are you feeling today?

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Today I feel good. No, rephrase that, I feel really good! See today I had a visit with my therapist, and it has been 3 weeks since I’ve seen her because work shifts kept coming available and I don’t pass them up if there isn’t a reason. So today was finally the day to meet with her and talk about things. I started with her for grief counseling because I was struggling with mom’s death and wasn’t sure if what I was going through was intense grief or depression. They mimic each other in many ways and my fear was that I had crossed over to depression. Thankfully it is grief that was invading my life, a most unwelcome guest that won’t just exit stage left, or right. It hangs around and when you forget it is there it sticks a pin in you and hurt resurfaces.

We talk about so many things in my sessions, things I had long forgotten about and things that are brand new and fresh, and influence how I handle painful or joyful things in life now. Throughout it I find myself amazed at where I’ve been and how far I’ve come through some really intense, painful moments in life and yet always stand back up, brush off and keep going only to find the light and joy again.

I always leave feeling much better than I went in, so today I feel FANTASTIC. I was feeling very good prior to this session. My coworker, an avid supporter of counseling, mentioned today that she sees a much happier me than what was there just before I started grief counseling. I smile, laugh, dance with the residents and I’m back to the normal Marti everyone loves to work with again.

I could stop now, but with the holiday season and this being our first Christmas without mom, we both agreed I should stick with it, dropping to every other week, until after the new year begins, just in case I find myself needing a little extra support.

So today you could say I’m thankful for the men and women who are there with faith based counseling, ready to help us find our way through this maze called life when things get rough.

I’m also very thankful for heat! It is 41 degrees at the moment and for the first time in weeks my apartment temperature dropped below 70. The thermostat read 63 so it was time to turn on the heat again because this menopause mama isn’t hot flashing enough tonight to stay comfy.