One thing I’ve learned through the grieving process is that taking care of yourself is critical during this time. While it is really important throughout life, during the progression of the various stages of grief you need focused time to take care of you.
This has taken on many forms for me over the past 49 days. Everything from allowing myself a little unhealthy comfort food or a glass of wine to spending an entire day reading a good book. It has meant saying “no” to picking up an extra shift at work without feeling guilty, or picking up a shift in order to keep my mind busy and give my heart someone to care for and love. Extra cups of coffee and sleeping in (assuming you don’t have to deal with crazy cat – more on that in a minute), scheduling time to do the things you love doing but rarely take time for, all of this and more add up to self nurturing of me. It might sound terrible to some, but there are times when I could go an entire weekend without seeing or talking to another human being and not mind one bit.
I’ve also found that keeping a running, written to-do list and scheduling those tasks needing my attention helps me to focus and actually accomplish things. This all sounds an awful lot like ‘adulting’, and it is, but it is adulting on a seriously centered level for the sake of sanity. The alternative is letting everything go completely to pieces, running wild and carefree, a road to self destruction.
The most beneficial routine has been my morning quiet time. I get showered and ready for work, then grab my prayer veil (it is both humbling and helps me focus), getting on my knees and praying. Then spending time in God’s Word and a good devotional. Life makes much more sense and I know I’m heard and loved when I spend time with the Lord. I recommend it above and before all other things.
Now about the crazy cat shenanigans that went on over the past few nights. Seems my cat likes to imagine she is a panther, deep in the jungle, hunting her prey, spying it and running after it at top speed to close the distance from the fleeing victim before pouncing with an attack. Throughout the apartment, across the bed and my was-asleep-self and out of the room again. Maybe it is just that time we refer to as “the rips” with previous felines. Or perhaps my fur baby is just bat sh*t crazy. I don’t want to rule out any real possible reasons for this behavior. I do want it to stop. Closing my bedroom door is not an option as the litter box is in my half bath off my room, and if you close the door she will knock in rapid fire succession with her paws and that is equally annoying at 2:00am.
This is my world, welcome to my marvelous life!
Marti Gardner 