Because My Life Lacks Excitement

Actually that is sarcasm in that title, just in case you were wondering. I work in a community for folks with dementia/Alzheimer’s, trust me when I tell you we have all the excitement one can handle some days. Yesterday wasn’t lively enough I suppose so I had to make my own.

After a great shift with my work bestie I was looking forward to coming home and making my healthy dinner. Sunday I had made spaghetti squash bake and it was amazing. It makes enough for two so I had put half away for tonight and was going to have a wonderful, large salad. I had on my oldest pair of faded, falling apart jeans and a black t-shirt…my “I’m not seeing another human being not related to me” go-to outfit. I grabbed the romaine lettuce, radishes, cauliflower, the cutting board and this huge knife.

The culprit

I’m no chef and cooking is more necessity than anything else for me, but I’m not stupid, knives are sharp. But I should never be permitted to use sharp objects without adult supervision and appropriate safety gear. I lacked both but I love living on the edge. On the first cut into the lettuce I also managed to cut into my left thumb. Through the side, through the nail and flesh and even across the nail bed. *face palm* The second I did it I dropped the knife and might have said a bad word…or two. The flesh parted like the red sea when Moses raised his staff, and for a brief second or two it was kind cool seeing how deep I’d managed to go, and then the blood.

In the ER after the bleeding was under control


Oh so much blood! And more bad words. I grabbed paper towels, squeezed it and I started to say “hey mom I think I need to go to…” and realized mom isn’t here anymore. I ran down to my sister’s apartment (she is a RN). “Oh yes, that is going to need stitches” she informs me. UGH, of course it does. Tossing the salad makings in the fridge and cleaning up my self made make-believe crime scene, and off to the hospital. We have some satellite campuses now so I went to one rather than drive all the way to the big hospital.

By the time I was there most of the heavy bleeding was under control, and the flap of flesh was now laying nicely in place, but it needed cleaning. Also seems I needed to get a tetanus shot. This day just kept improving. Thankfully it was a SLOW day in the ER. I got lots of undesired attention. After a thorough cleaning…twice for good measure, the doc who had told me of using super glue on patients in Kenya, and that she doesn’t like using glue because infection cannot get out should it get infected…decided against the few stitches. Seems in my line of work, despite wearing gloves and washing my hands like I get paid extra to do so, glue was going to be the better option because it would keep things out of the wound as well. So one more very thorough cleaning, then squeezing that puppy hard for a while to remove any and all possible moisture, and she grabbed the medical glue and sealed this baby up tight. Y’all, that medical glue is a bear! At first it is pretty awesome as it is applied, and about 30-60 seconds in begins to burn like you are holding the thumb in a fire. HOLY CRAP! That thankfully only lasts about 60 seconds but then needles to numb would have hurt worse so I’m good.

After that circus I came home and ate the left over spaghetti squash bake and read a good book, hung with my sister, turned down a ridiculously low ball offer on the house (less that what we owe and 40K less that we paid for the house) and called it a day.

I’m not supposed to get this wet for 24 hours so thankfully I have a large handful of gloves and some rubber bands. I also got my shift covered at work so I’m home today. Not much pain to speak of this morning, guess that glue burned off the nerve endings because DANG!