One of the things I’ve picked up on very quickly in learning how to heal from a painful loss is to LIVE. Put one foot in front of the other and MOVE. That can be difficult when you feel as if you are betraying the memory of your loved one by the fact that you are alive and they are not, but it is important.
I talked in another post about cleaning out the bedroom mom would have had and decorating it, changing it around and making it mine. She wanted me to take it to begin with so I would not have to change it later, I think she knew she wasn’t going to live here more than a few days or weeks. She didn’t even make it to 24 hours so I had to force myself to accept it was never her bedroom.
Today is another first for me, a moving forward. I cannot afford to continue buying take out even if it is something on my food plan to stay healthy. So, hoping the stove actually works I went to the grocery store yesterday and bought a spaghetti squash and some ground turkey, a can of diced tomatoes and some taco seasoning. I am making it right now. Thankfully the stove is working, by the way, and dinner is in about 20 minutes. I’m totally loving it! I LOVE cooking healthy foods, which is a big step for someone who hated cooking at all.
I also decided that it is time to start getting happy mail! As in mail that is not a bill, or political ad or whatever else is unwelcome in the mailbox. Or an empty one which can be equally depressing. I posted a live video on Facebook suggesting it is time to return to sending cards and notes, and that I was looking for others to do the same. I have 3 addresses and I’m going to begin sending notes and cards to these people at least once a month. That will ensure something fun shows up in the mailbox for them. I’d welcome anyone else who wants to do this just contact me and we can exchange addresses.
Reading is also therapeutic so I pulled out my Kindle Fire and started reading a book again. And I did a bunch of work for my health coaching business.
I feel good! I feel accomplished! I did not waste the day sitting around feeling sorry for myself because mom is gone. She used to let us wallow in our pity party for a while before she would tell us, “You need to get your sh*t together!” and that is now a thing everyone in the family is doing, putting #GYST in texts and snapchats to keep her memory alive and remind each other we cannot unpack and stay put we must move forward.
Love ya, mom, miss you bunches but going to make you proud!
Your Mom would be so
Pleased that you are moving forward. In her last days we had some very long talks and she was very worried about you all. She would be so pleased to know you are GYST. I think of you all often and I miss her terribly. Love to you all
Needless to say we miss her terribly too! She was such an amazing person and doing life without her just sucks.
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