Monday Memos

Monday MemosDear Self,

It has occurred to me, as I was lying awake the other night listening to one Diva snoring, then the other answering her, also snoring, that we may have misjudged the neighbor we affectionately have dubbed “Schleprock”.  Perhaps it isn’t that his shutters are not properly installed, as we laugh at them randomly falling off his house.  It may not be the fault of his skills that caused the most recent one to detach from his home, cascading to the ground, taking some of his siding with it.  It COULD be that with 3 of us snoring so hard, we’re sucking the shutters right off of his home.  Lord knows we’re peeling paint from various neighbors!  I dare say if we were all sick with a cold and snoring we might start pulling cars from garages on our street.  It might be time for breathing strips?

The Diva Who Is Also The Restock Fairy


Dear Printer,

You suck.  There was a time not so long ago when you and the laptop were best of friends.  All things sent would print as if by magic, remotely or through the USB.  But for some reason you are now acting like a spoiled child and won’t play nice in the sandbox with the laptop.  I dislike you for this, very much.  When I tried to print the workbook for my class  you behaved badly and just stopped communicating at all.  Fine, screw you, the Kinko office is nearby and they were very happy to print the workbook for my class next week.  Keep it up and I’ll just go there and write off all expenses.  Take that lazer brains!

Not feeling so Marvelous


Dear Self,

Stick to your diet guns!  138 days until we depart with The Badge for Sarasota to house hunt.  You want to be sporting that bikini body when you arrive. You are doing great, keep up the good work!  Though you MIGHT want to consider cutting the 30 Day Squat Challenge numbers in half the first round or you may never walk again.

You Are Out Of Shape Sister!


One comment

  1. My printer is being a spoiled brat too. We keep buying ink cartridges, because it tells us too and won’t print until we do, then it says they are damaged, or run out, or just won’t print still. I have not been able to print my photos for months. ggrrr.
    My husband must be the reason the siding is peeling on our house … because some nights? I don’t even come to bed he’s snoring so loud.
    I did a squat challenge like that! I still hurt in places I didn’t know I even had muscles!

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