10 Ways To Fake It As A Domestic Diva

what NOT to wear!!!!
what NOT to wear!!!!

Domestic Diva I am not.  Nor a Domestic Goddess for that matter, but with enough good skin care products and quality cosmetics I can get in the running.  But when it comes to being domestic, I have to put up a good front.  If you are like me, you will never have your own TV show or magazine full of amazing crafts, home decor ideas, or even a recipe column in the local newspaper.  But you can pull off looking like you have a clue even if you aren’t the June Cleaver type.  The photo here is NOT what you are aiming for so if this is your domestic look, we have work to do!

1.  Just Bake Brownies

Brownies are the way to go if you know better than to attempt anything fancy for bake sales or the next scout troop meeting.  Hit the baking aisle at the store and pick up a box of nice, fudge brownies.  For those serious non-domestic types, like me, don’t forget to buy a pan for baking them.  Seems that helps, but who knew?  Get the non-stick variety, I use a 9×9, and even if it says non-stick I still spray the bottom with cooking spray.  No, not the big, well known brand named after some chick, I use the bargain brand with the store name on it because it works just as good.  Set a timer, it helps if you don’t burn them. Once cooled, you can stand out like a serious home-room mom by icing them and using M&Ms, mini peanut butter cups, or crushed nuts to decorate the top.

Everyone loves brownies and you just scored big with the kiddos.  I stick plain old brownies in the bowl and top ice cream and it’s dessert fit for a king.

2.  Pinterest

Seriously I have found some of the best, easiest recipes ever on Pinterest.  Just this morning I totally wow’d the Jr. Prince and Jr. Princess with breakfast that I found there.  A soft taco shell, spread with peanut butter, drizzled with honey and a banana rolled up inside.  They think this is the most wonderful breakfast burrito ever.  Use chocolate and skip the honey and you have a snack burrito that is healthy.  I have a number of yummy dinners I found on there that are delicious and simple.  Get a Pinterest account and use it.

3.  Multi-task the laundry

Yes..whenever there is a full load of any kind, put it in the washer!  I do laundry when getting ready for work some days, or while cooking dinner.  If there is a full load it gets washed now.  I fold it as soon as the dryer is done and put it away immediately.  This keeps me ahead of the game and not having a ‘laundry day’ means no one has to search for clean underwear or turn a pair inside out and wear them a second day.  And when your hamper isn’t full it makes you look like you are on top of the game.  Gone are the days of assigning a particular day to do anything, just get it done while other things are getting done.  A true domestic diva always has clean dish towels in her kitchen.  Don’t believe the wench, she is doing this too, she does not have a particular laundry day!

4.  Dust on the go!

Seriously is there anything more annoying than how fast dust accumulates?  And that alone makes a house appear dirty.  I do not set a specific time for that either.  On the way to the hamper with the dish towels etc, I grab an old washcloth out of the drawer and dust the wood work on the way up and down the steps.  I know, it’s brilliant!  Headed to open the blinds in a room, take that dust rag (come on, it isn’t a cloth, and it’s an old rag and let’s just call it what it is) and hit everything you pass.  Keeps your home looking freshly dusted.  Heck use the t-shirt your honey or son took off and left on the floor to do that particular room before landing it in the hamper.  Concern yourself NOT with the germs you may leave behind, no one is going to lick the top of the dresser or night stand!

5.  Use those commercials!

We all have our favorite shows we cannot miss.  Next time you are getting ready to sit down to your favorite show, invite the vacuum cleaner to the party, and a laundry basket.  During the commercials load that basket with whatever is laying around that doesn’t belong there, and run the vacuum.  ONLY during the commercials though.  Once things are swept and the basket is loaded, next commercial race the break in programming to get those items put in their proper place!  Think of it is as a mini, on the go workout as your fly through the house.  By the time the favorite show is done you’ve cleaned that room.  Bravo! No one will ever know you didn’t spend all day cleaning.

6.  You too can be a professional Dumpster Diver!

Seriously, do not go spend a bundle on furnishings when your neighbors are tossing perfectly good stuff.  Just remember, if you are swiping things from too close to home you might want to do it after dark.  Drive around on trash night to other neighborhoods and look for things that can be upcycled.  That means reused in better ways.  But first, have a vision.  Back to Pinterest sisters!  Search for cute rooms and print pictures.  NOW you are ready.  Hit the streets and look for things, or go to garage sales, the fodder there is amazing.  If all else fails the local thrift/goodwill store works too.  I know a woman who decorated her entire home in a Mexican theme from going to garage and resale shops.  It was beautiful and cost her so little to achieve a home Martha Stewart would be proud of!  Paint the room, that is the most expensive part.  Then get those items you find and add as you buy.  In no time you have redecorated on a tiny budget but it looks fantastic.  Carpets need replacing? Find area rugs that work with your theme or design.  Remember, there are groups online, on Facebook, where folks are swapping, selling cheap or free-cycling (giving to a good home), find those.  If the piece is a bit rough on the finish, put a nice lace napkin on top on an angle and dollar store vase and it looks great!  If that nosy neighbor up the street notices the table in the front hall looks so much like one she tossed, say you got it at an upscale antique store and just couldn’t pass it up as it is all the latest trend in decorating magazines.  She’ll be jealous. Never admit the truth.

7.  Get a ‘look’!

We all have days when we over sleep, or time gets away from us, or we are just to lazy to rise and shine.  On those days have a go-too look so you appear all put together and amazing.  I do this for work, because frankly they don’t need me to look like a goddess, but I cannot scare off vendors or delivery folks either.  Start with a simple, easy to achieve style.  If you have long hair you are fortunate that you can pull it back, twist it up, braid and go.  If you don’t have long hair, go short, with a cute style that is meant to look a tad messy.  I go for short myself, it drys fast, and a splot of hair paste to work it quickly into a spiky, soccer mom doo and hair is done.  Makeup is simple, always moisturize, then go for mineral powder! It looks awesome and brushes on fast.  Use your blush brush to apply eyes and cheeks quickly (I will do a video on this soon),  top it with a bit of mascara and you look fresh and awesome.  Who cares if it only took 5 minutes?  If you don’t have time to do your hair, get a sporty looking baseball hat and stylish but cheap sunglasses.  As long as it looks like this is your hat and not your son’s, it appears an intentional fashion choice.

8.  Fake nails

Who the heck has time to paint their nails these days unless they sit home while their hubby works 2 jobs to keep food on the table and the house out of foreclosure?  Seriously, go spend the money on fake nails.  Most of these cute little places will do a set for under $30 and fill them for less than $20.  It’s worth it, go every 3 weeks.  If you put nothing else for YOU in the budget, do nails.  Skip color it will chip and you look crappy again, so just nice, French Manicure.   They look clean, classy and gives you the ‘look’ of a woman with her act together.  Remember this is all about fake it til you make it.  Sell your plasma if you have too but get those nails!  Oh and then don’t forget to be careful when cleaning, use gloves etc.  I prefer gel nails as they stay looking amazing between fills.

9.  Home Made

Just because Aunt Bea had time to make cookies doesn’t mean we do.  All these cool appliances in our kitchens have not made life any simpler.  Screw the home made dough, you don’t have the time and the pre-made has the same stuff in it that you would be dumping in the mixing bowl.  Grab a few rolls and hide them behind something healthy in the fridge so no one sees them.  Then, when no one is near, set the stage.  Get out the mixing bowl and spoon, leave on the counter with a dish towel and turn on the faucet so the sink looks used.  Now it appears you just washed those, by hand even. You go girl!  Now get out that dough and get a tray of cookies in the oven baking.  If anyone is heard approaching you quickly grab the towel and dry off the mixing bowl.  They are in awe of you having quickly whipped up those cookies.  The house smells awesome and there are fresh baked goodies for the kids to munch on.  You just scored big and didn’t have to bust your butt, Nestle or Pillsbury did it for you.  If it smells home made, it is. After all you made them at home, right?  Do this when their friends are over so they go home bragging that “Tommy’s mom made us fresh baked cookies for a snack” and you are now the envy of the neighborhood.

10.  Cute Clothes

You just need one or two super adorable outfits.  Jeans a nice hoodie for cooler weather, or a cute shirt for warmer weather.  One pair of never wear them unless you need too look like a million tennis shoes or sandals and you are set.  Keep those for only trips to the store or to pick up the kids from sport practice.  Or maybe to be home room mom or anywhere you know you will be bumping into those real domestic freaks.  Then you look like you too have it together.  Go on, brag about busting your butt all day to make dinner, fresh baked cookies etc, and all while you actually work outside the home.  Everyone thinks  you are the bomb and no one knows you are cutting corners.

One comment

  1. I love this list! I’m definitely not a domesticated diva either, but I am sure good at pretending! I totally agree with baking brownies. I love, love, love to bake.. I just don’t have the time for it usually. I’ll have to keep this list in mind 😀

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