Some time back I saw a thought question, “What does beautiful look like in the dark?” and really contemplated that one. I eventually included it as part of my dating profile on dating sites, stating that if you didn’t know what beauty looked like in the dark, you weren’t for me. Not because I thought of myself as unattractive, I know I’m not an unattractive person. I’ve turned my share of heads over the years, without having to dress in clothes that look like I borrowed them from my daughter. At 50 I still turn a few heads, not as many as before in my younger days, but then it isn’t all that important. All I have ever wanted was to be able to turn one head, and keep it turned, my direction forever. Sure physical attraction is important, but I wanted that head to turn for ALL of me, the entire package. Not my face, figure etc, but for my mind, my heart, my dreams and desires, my laughter and my tears.
For the past several years I thought that wasn’t possible to find, someone who found me beautiful in the dark. I’m not talking about physical intimacy, heck I have no issues leaving the lights on for that, I am what I am. I wanted to find that person who found me beautiful in those areas that are not ‘visible’ to the human eye.
Wouldn’t it be a very interesting world if we were all blind and could only ‘see’ people for who they really are? Not their vessel, skin color, the hair, makeup or lack of it, a few extra pounds, wrinkles, warts whatever. But all we would be able to see was their inner person, the heart and soul of the man or woman.
I worked for a few days in a nursing home, while getting my CNA certification. Age is a real beast to the physical body. Some folks will be blessed to age well as far as physical appearance, but let me tell you many do not. Some are almost ‘disgusting’ to look upon, making it difficult to look past the outside and into the heart. And what of those severely burned, or maimed by accident or war? Hard to get past the sometimes horrifying exteriors. Yet that person on the inside is still the same one that at one time maybe we’ d have called sexy or hot. How many have we all passed by barely looking at, that could have enriched our lives if we had seen past their looks?
There are so many beautiful, interesting, wonderful people in this world who go unseen by us all because they aren’t one of the pretty people. Sadly, many of the pretty people are down right ugly as sin in the dark, their hearts and souls are rotted to the core. Selfish, mean spirited and ‘me’ oriented, all they have is their outside shell and one day that will have been nipped and tucked to the limits and they’ll lose that physical beauty and have nothing left.
I did find someone who finds me attractive on all levels, which blows me away. He finds my heart, mind and soul to be a huge turn on, in addition to finding me physically attractive. In the dark, I think it is safe to say, he probably finds me even more beautiful than I could ever be in the light because he loves who I am, not what I look like.
A friend on Facebook posted this video today which brought this blog topic about beauty in the dark back to mind. How tragic to realize how many persons of value one has missed knowing because they didn’t measure up to a physical standard. I teared up watching Dustin Hoffman sharing this, because there was a time I was that person others wouldn’t have even given the time of day. The “ugly duckling”. And I’d not trade that for the world because those times are what made me drop dead gorgeous in the dark.
What do you look like in the dark, stripped of your exterior?
Marti Gardner 