Saturday Evening Coffee Musings

Because there is no wine or beer in the house.   And, well, I like my pumpkin spice coffee with hot cocoa and caramel hazelnut creamer.  So that is what I’m drinking as I muse.  I’m cool like that.

I have been exposed of late to a number of episodes of Say Yes To The Dress on TLC.  It is a “reality” show of young ladies looking for the perfect wedding dress at Kleinfeld’s in New York.   I’ve watched them saying yes to dresses that cost thousands of dollars.  They pay more for a wedding dress than any brand new car I’ve ever purchased.  One episode I happened to see portions of, the bride to be was buying 2  dresses, one for her ceremony and one for the reception.  I’m told this is becoming the trend.  *are you flipping kidding me????*  The veil was $8,000.  And it wasn’t all that impressive.  Seriously.  When her fiance sat down with her to pay for all of this, 2 dresses and veil, her total was nearly $65,000.  I’ll let that sink in for a minute.  OH and when he looked at her with his jaw on the floor (my understanding is he has money and COULD buy it all but was shocked), her response was, “don’t you want me to be beautiful on my wedding day?”  Chew on that too for just a moment.  Then I’m going to rip this apart.

We’ll start with the cost of the dresses.  Seriously, she is attractive.  But really?  She won’t be beautiful on her wedding day unless she has $65,000 in attire to wear?  Beauty is not only in the eyes of the beholder, but it usually comes first from within.  And with that pout and statement, honey there isn’t a dress with a price tag big enough to make you beautiful.  All I could think was this was one shallow, gold digging woman with a serious princess complex.  But dumbass the groom caved and bought it all.  I’m not sure there is a stick big  enough to whack him upside the head with so you could knock some sense into him.

Why is it these girls think you must have a designer dress?  I have seen some gorgeous wedding gowns that were but a few hundred dollars.  The vast majority of us couldn’t tell a designer dress if it slapped us out of our flip flops.  And when did having 2 dresses become the norm?  Isn’t one over priced, wear it ONCE dress enough? Now we’re up to 2?????  This is just stupid.  And it is bride after bride (actually their daddies and fiances) dishing out tons of money on a stupid dress that they will wear only once.  Even if they married more than Liz Taylor, they’ll only wear that particular dress ONE time.

There is another show on TLC, Four Weddings, in which brides are grouped in 4’s.  They then judge each other’s weddings, hoping to win a dream honeymoon.  Attire, food, location, atmosphere etc is all rated.  They obviously nitpick each others events to pieces.  But the competition is on for the best show in town to win that dream honeymoon.

What has happened to us in this country????

Couples spending outlandish amounts of money  to put on a huge production of a show for their weddings, some using them as a competition to win a prize, and odds are half of them won’t be married long.

When did the wedding itself become more important that what is taking place?  This is a very serious commitment being made.  Why so much focus on the visual and so little on the promises being made?  Getting married is not about putting on a great event and party.  Does anyone even LISTEN to what they are saying to each other?  Do the vows mean anything at all?  Or is it more important to pick the right cake, and chicken or prime rib?  To drop thousands on a dress (dear GAWD I can only imagine what the reception must cost), all to impress people?  Because really, that is what all that fruffy, frilly nonsense is all about, putting on a great show to impress people.  It makes me absolutely sick.  My own wedding, when we first started out, was going to cost a mint.  It wasn’t long before I couldn’t justify all that money and changed to a very inexpensive wedding that was FUN.  But it was also about what we were entering into, which wasn’t a show fit for Broadway to win a prize or delight our guests.

It is no wonder to me that the divorce rate is so high.  Couples are more concerned with dazzling the attendees and later all the ooohs and ahhhs than they are about promising and committing some serious vows to each other. Sure, we want our wedding day to be special, but I think we’ve lost sight of why it is supposed to be special, and it has nothing to do with what you are wearing or where you bought the cake.


  1. I so hear you on this post. Too many brides these days are focused on the wedding day, and not the marriage itself. I knew a woman who put so much money into her wedding – to the guy she had finally landed after 7 years (with a year long break up in the middle at which point they were just horrible, horrible to one another)…..and we could hear them fighting in their room at the rehearsal dinner —– over having children!!!! Seriously, are you kidding me? In the 7 years this topic never came up? But now they are arguing over it – she wants, he doesn’t. So they agree to one and we hear him say “fine. but you take care of it.”
    and she went ahead and married him!!! Unbelievable. And they had the 1 child, and she took care of it…..and 3 years later – they divorced. (which we later found out she cheated…..because she wanted more children.)
    This is the selfishness of a lot of women these days. I want, and if you can’t provide it, I will find someone who can. Vows mean nothing: it’s what can you do for me?

    • It is a sad situation and that is just awful! That is like a get to know you thing in early days of dating anyone! The whole purpose of dating is to find a potential mate!

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