OMG! WTF?

I’m not even certain randomness is a word, though spell checker isn’t flagging it so I suppose that it is indeed.

I am SO thankful it is Friday.  Been missing my Biker this week, work and life getting in the way of our fun.  But the weather is going to be outstanding so my hope is a lot of throttle therapy.  Frankly I’d settle for some serious snuggle therapy and a few naps, I’m exhausted.

My vampire hours are back, oh the joy.  I expected it last night, between my mind being an over active jumble of thoughts and the Mucinex I took for my stuffy nose it was a sure fired way to be awake half the night.  When I was sleeping it was a lot of screwed up, fitful Twilight Zone style dreams I could have lived without.  It gave me plenty of time to lay there contemplating the bizarre  stuff I see in life that leaves my face contorted in  puzzled thought.

Example…do people not realize that when inside their car, unless they have tinted windows, they are still visible?    I’ve noticed a good number of people cleaning their ears with keys (not a safe practice by the way), shaving,  applying makeup, and picking their nose, examining what was extracted then snacking on said item (stomach turning), sneezing into their hands and wiping in  on the seat or their shirt sleeve…seriously people, knock that nasty crap off!

Ladies, unless your rear luggage rack is in excellent condition, do NOT wear white pants/shorts.  And under NO circumstances should you wear anything that is a mix of spandex.  Yes, curves are sexy to some men, like my honey.  Others, like the ex-spouse think twigs are hot.  Now, what I am about to say is acceptable coming from me, as I have a somewhat over sized load back there:  if you have a large caboose white pants do  not make you look fresh and summer like. They make you look like a major appliance that grew legs.  There is nothing appealing about looking like a refrigerator wrapped in white plastic.  Be comfy in your skin and all that, but  please learn how to dress in ways that compliment your curves.

Gentlemen…what is the fascination with reading in the bathroom???  It is the least comfortable place in any home or office and yet when they need to spend any amount of time in there, most every man I know grabs the sports page or a magazine and struts off  to the commode.  Shortly after the work day started and they had consumed their first cups of coffee, the guys in the office could all be seen making their way to the men’s room with a portion of the newspaper or a trade magazine under the arm.  Come on fellas, we all know what you are doing in there, and it ain’t going to smell pleasant, why would you want to linger over the baseball scores from last night?  Can you seriously not find a better place to call “the library”?  Especially when it is obviously a group activity based on the numbers entering.  If you need to be in there long enough to read anything of length perhaps you should consider an increase of fiber in your diet to move things along.  Get in, get out, and use some air freshner for the sake of all following you in there, please!

One last peeve…when standing in line at the grocery, thumbing through magazines, please do NOT LICK YOUR DAMN FINGERS to turn the page unless you are buying it!  That is just nasty and gross! Not to mention you may be picking up the germs left by the last digit-licker that browsed through it.  Same goes with wetting the finger tips to then count out paper money…you don’t know where those bills have been and that poor cashier  doesn’t want to handle the money after you’ve slimmed it.  Besides, she may give it to me, the next one in line, in my change and then I’m going to run you down with my shopping cart!