The Dating Diaries ~ ACCESS DENIED

“Go ahead..let people label you. It just shows they wanna put you in a box because they’re so afraid of what you can do” ~ The Single Woman


Online dating, if nothing else, is highly entertaining at times.  Just reading profiles is good for laughs.  Despite what some  folks think, one can glean a good deal about someone by their own words in their profile.

One thing a well written profile does is gives me a good clue if someone will be compatible with me.   First starting with  their physical stats, like height, weight, location, and for me even their astrological sign.  You recall,  from earlier posts, fire fighters and those born under the sign of Aquarius, Scorpio or Leo, are just not good matches  for me.  Fire fighter Aquarians are simply a disaster trying to occur.

In the essay sections of a profile, where a person has the opportunity to tell me about themselves, it can either be a deal breaker before we ever get to ‘hello’ or it can spark the desire  for an introduction.  I forgive a random typo, but I’m picky, too many of them and it becomes obvious that the writer just doesn’t put any time or thought into themselves or they’d be trying harder to put forth something of quality.  Also, things a person likes to do in their spare  time, or  for fun, helps me to know if there is a chance at chemistry.

For example, I was contacted by a gentleman (and I use this term very loosely as he certainly didn’t behave like one, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself) who was interested in meeting.  I looked over his profile carefully and somethings stood out to me, and yes I am going to rip this sucker apart dissect some sections to show first why he is not a good match for me.

Okay let’s do some examination of his profile:

” I enjoy any activity that can be done outdoors camping, biking, hiking, tennis, volleyball, water skiing, festivals, and traveling. I also enjoy art shows, auctions, yard sales, shopping and dining out along with good conversation. “

Okay first off, I love being outside!  However camping = Holiday Inn Express.  I grew up camping all over this country.  I do not like to camp anymore, period.

Biking = Harley Davidson/Honda etc…fender fluff.  I don’t care for peddling.  It has to have a motor and rumble baby.

Water skiing – not so much.  Not a huge fan of water I cannot see the bottom of so water  skiing just is  not appealing.

Art shows/auctions/shopping – Not much into art, auctions YAWN no thanks, and shopping?  This girl HATES FLIPPING SHOPPING!

So far, as you can see, this isn’t going to be a good match.  We are  not on the same pages enough when it comes to activities we enjoy.

Then he posts:

My photos are current. Please don’t expect the Brad Pitts, bad boy type from me. I don’t have a beer belly, long hair, hairy back, tattoos, earrings, nose rings, belly piercing, or a motorcycle (although I might get one in the future, lol). What I do have is a big heart, self assured, confident, positive attitude, optimistic, a job and white teeth! lol

Hmm…getting the idea that he is intimidated by the bad boy/rebel  types.  And tattoos and a nose ring might not be up his alley, which means ME as my nose is pierced and I have some ink.  Not to mention if you are someone that is so confident and self assured, you don’t tear down other ‘types’ when telling me what you are all about.  Truly confident individuals don’t do that sort of thing, they don’t compare themselves to anyone or point out what they perceive as flaws in others.  Bad form my man.

So reading further, this stands out to me:

Things that I believe in:

– My Dad & Mom taught me well
– You will hurt and be hurt by those you love and showing you care afterward can strengthen those relationships
– Actions expose the soul and define you and your relationships
– Most mistakes can become blessings if you learn along the way
– We’re never truly alone
– People cross paths for reasons so pay attention
– Everything happens for a reason and those who learn from those reasons gain knowledge from life’s experiences.
– It’s safe to trust your instincts because you’ll know early if someone “gets” you and you “get” them
– It’s better to laugh than to cry
– Sunrises, sunsets and rainy days were meant to be shared
– A hug can make it all better

I want you to remember the part  in red there, it will be important in a bit.

And then this part stood out to me too (dude was LONG on the writing which is okay if it doesn’t all contradict itself)

I borrowed the below info from another profile. I thought it was somewhat close to me. BTW, I have blue eyes and I’m looking for a woman no matter what her eyes color maybe. I already had one shallow woman proclaim she didn’t have blue eyes so she tossed me back into the water! Come on, please have an open mind and expand our horizons when it comes to looking for a partner. There has been only one perfect “MAN” in this world so far!

People with blue eyes last the longest in relationships. They are kind, pretty or handsome, very good kissers and are really hot. They always fall in love with their closest friends and never understand why. They are very funny, outgoing and don’t care what people think or say. They love to party. They are very satisfying and love to please. Are straight up WARRIORS when they need to be. They are bad to the bone.

Okay Mr. Confident is back to dissing people again, because someone was not interested in him she must be shallow?  Oh and he just told us earlier he isn’t a bad boy type, yet he is bad to the bone?

I had immediately picked up on the fact that this guy is anything but confident.  He resorted to name calling and knocking others in his profile, it screams of someone that lacks self confidence and doesn’t handle rejection very well.  And not finding anything in his profile that indicated compatibility I told him I wasn’t interested.  I figured if he doesn’t handle rejection well (shallow woman???) online, after a date or  two when things were confirmed for me that this was NOT the future Mr. Marvi  Marti,  he might have a full blown melt  down.

Oh and before I go any  further, I need to point out that I have a photo on my profile of me in a Halloween costume I wore once.  The reason? I am a curvy girl, big boobs, and some hips that gave birth 3 times.  Not fat, but curves are a part of me.  So since that shot gives the viewer a good indication of what they are getting, I used  it.    You’ll understand why I’m showing this photo in a minute, so hang  on.

This morning, while laying in bed answering my emails on the dating site, there continued a little exchange with Mr. Confident (we had exchanged a few very short emails last week but I told him I was too busy to meet then):

sent 7/9/2011  7:50:42 AM
FR: Mr.Confident
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
How’s your schedule looking for this weekend or next week?

sent 7/9/2011  10:01:17 AM
FR: Marti
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
At the moment just not interested.

sent 7/10/2011  7:24:49 AM
FR: Mr.Confident
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
why not? Has something happened in your life?

sent 7/10/2011  7:29:38 AM
FR: Marti
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
I just am not interested. That simple.

sent 7/10/2011  7:35:23 AM
FR: Mr. Confident
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
Do you mean in me or find someone? I’m just trying to understand?

sent 7/10/2011  7:39:09 AM
FR: Marti
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
I am not interested in getting to know you.

sent 7/10/2011  7:42:07 AM
FR: Mr.  Confident
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
Duh, how did you come to that conclusion? We have never met or spoken? But I guess you are right. I’m not attractive to shallow and narrow-minded people!
Guess that explains the reason why you can’t keep a man after 22 yrs of marriage! lmao

sent 7/10/2011  7:47:04 AM
FR: Marti
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
Interesting you that you resort to childish tactics throwing insults at someone, tells me that you are thin skinned and do not handle rejection well. Instead of having some class, you behave like a 5yo little boy.
that was what I suspected, so wasn’t interested. You simply confirmed it.

sent 7/10/2011  7:47:07 AM
FR: Mr.Confident
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
I guess that’s why you have to put pictures of your breasts hanging out in order to catch a man? you can’t do it as being yourself. Some Church person you are! lmao

sent 7/10/2011  7:49:15 AM
FR: Marti
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
Have a nice day.

sent 7/10/2011  7:49:51 AM
FR: Mr. Confident
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
Why are you still bothering me? Get on your broom and fly away!

You have nothing to offer me! lmao

*note: I stopped answering at  this point, evident that this guy is getting his boxers knotted up pretty easily.

sent 7/10/2011  7:51:524 AM
FR: Mr.  Confident
SJ: Fish Nibbling On Your Line!
Go to Church and pray that you can find a man! You are going to say a lot of prayers before you do! lol

Obviously old Rob doesn’t handle rejection very well?  Funny to me is that Mr. Confident, who lists himself as Catholic, obviously had no issues with those D-size boobs when he contacted me hoping I would have interest.  And as I told him, he resorts to sandbox politics when he doesn’t get what he wants.  Also, remember up above a bit where he stated things he believes in? Remember this:

– Actions expose the soul and define you and your relationships

Well, Mr. Confident, your actions exposed YOUR soul and defined you and your relationships.  Oh and for the record, you are divorced too, and on an online dating site, LOOKING for a woman YOU don’t have, just as I don’t have a man at the moment. So what is your point?

As  I said, when I read his profile slowly, I sensed he was going to behave like this if I rejected him for any reason once we started going out, I just didn’t expect him to do it simply because I have no desire to meet him.

Good luck, Mr. Confident, you are going to need it.



  1. I’m still trying to figure out what part of your breasts aren’t ‘yourself’. I may need Rob to explain how having your breasts hang out is not “being yourself” – if anything, it’s a whole lotta yourself to put out there.

    Kinda makes me wanna ask my boobs, “You girls are mine, right?”

    • LOL and if ya know me, you know dressed up for fun like that was indeed being myself!

  2. Geez. Bet nothing was misspelled either. He’s the type that copies and pastes from everyone else so that you don’t see the real “douche canoe” that he is. !!!

  3. Seems to me the name Rob is all wrong, sounds more like a “Richard” to me. And I do like the costume, but in a pervy kinda way!!! Bill

  4. What a total d-bag. Amazing how grown men can revert to petulant behaviour just by hearing the word ‘no’. Ugh. Good riddance and I’m sorry you even had to deal with him.

    • Yep, made me just wanna change my mind and accept he must be some amazing incredible man…..NOT!!!

  5. DAYUM. You are much more civil than I could be.

    And much hotter than I could be. That costume is HOT (I say that in the least pervy kind of way possible:)

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