Dear Future Husband,
While you are out there waiting for me to find you, I thought of a few more things that might be good to put on the table, up front like, avoids unpleasant surprises.
- I am NOT a morning person. In fact I am a bit of a grump when I wake up if it is not by my own choosing. Until I have had coffee and a shower, it is just best to give me my space and not bring up anything that might be upsetting to me. That would be just about anything other than “honey the coffee is ready and here is a cup just for you”. It is nothing personal, my brain just doesn’t engage all that quickly in the morning. Think ZOMBIE.
- I am not one to eat first thing in the morning. It upsets my stomach, so if you want to go to breakfast I need time to wake up. Breakfast in bed is not a good idea unless I have had coffee and I’ve been awake for awhile.
- I am very self conscious, so I will not go out without my makeup on. It simply doesn’t happen. I need 40 minutes from the start of my shower until I’m ready to roll out of the door. That is actually rather impressive for getting clean, applying the face paint and doing up my golden locks. Don’t whine. Just let me hit the shower before you and it’s all good from there. No, showering with me will not speed up the process though yes, that IS a lot of fun IF we have no where to be any time soon.
- I love cats. I WILL have cats and maybe a little Yorkie or Yorkie-Poo or Maltese. Deal with it. I am one bad relationship/heart break from owning 10 cats, so anything less than that just means I am stable and still love you.
- I am fully aware of what will make my ass fat and cause the numbers on the scale to rise. I am not trying to gain weight but when I feel like munching junk/comfort food, keep your unsolicited editorial comments to yourself.
- I get PMS, sometimes worse than others, despite having had a hysterectomy. Your best bet is to just stay out of my way. Hug me…even if I am not huggable, just do it. Find me laying on the bed in the dark? Just wrap around me and I’ll calm down, it never lasts real long (12 hours?). Ever seen the PMS episode of Everybody Love’s Raymond? WELL worth watching, she pales in comparison to my demon within, 2 parts below is the entire episode, consider it training…you’ve been warned:
Take a weekend morning for instance, me, wakeup, throw on whatever clothes are the closest, put on ballcap, get in car, run to starbucks, THEN my day starts. But, if I’m ever so lucky as to be woke up in the morning and someone is standing there with a breakfast they’ve made for me then I’m damn sure eating it. Many things that play well on sitcoms are fodder for deep hurts in real life.
This one just wears me out! lol
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