Dear Future Husband, 
I haven’t found you yet, that I know of, but I continue to date and get to know men as I search for you. You remain a mystery at this time, but one day fate will bring us together or reveal that someone I already know is the one, and I will indeed marry again. Likely we will just run off somewhere and get married, no big fan fare, there is simply no need. We’ll celebrate with friends and family at a later date, something simple. It isn’t about them, it will be about us.
I think that is the big mistake made so many times is making a huge ordeal out of the production, the wedding, and not enough focus on the commitment being made. Believe me that won’t happen to me again. I still believe in fairy tales, that forever can happen. When I got married before, I stuck to it. Because when I give my word in something so serious I mean it.
- For better, for worse – believe me, I’ve stuck it out through both. Who knew how bad worse could be, but it can be and it was, and I was still there. It will be no different for you, I will be there for the better and the worse.
- For richer, for poorer – oh yes, while not rich we did well at times, and while no one starved believe me we knew what it felt like when the financial floor falls out from under you. And I stayed there just as I vowed. While I prefer that we be comfortable financially, should things go belly up in the bank tank, I will still be there beside you. (but don’t be stupid)
- In good times and in bad – it is enough to say (we can discuss this in person) that I am familiar with some very good times, and some VERY bad times in my last marriage. I never strayed, never gave up. A vow is a vow. Rest assured, we will have good times, you and I, and during the bad times, yes I will still be there. No I won’t sleep on the couch and neither will you. We’ll figure it out.
- In sickness and in health – Rest assured, I am no stranger sickness, VERY well known enemy, and again I stayed there, true to him, and never walked away. May we grow old together in great health. If not, never fear, I will be there to take care of you until the end. It’s how I roll. You will do the same for me, I know it in my heart. (If you don’t I will haunt you from the other side. Count on that. You will be very afraid)
If you should desire to have me as your wife (and face it, who doesn’t), if you cannot say the words and mean them, and be prepared to stick it out till death do us part, then spare me and move on. Marriage isn’t a game. It is a covenant, a contract, between us, you don’t break a covenant. Think hard, my beloved, because I will mean every single word. Only I may wish to rewrite the standard wedding vows, in fact just ditch them completely…
I love this book series I read once, and I highly recommend any male that wants to spend his life with me read the first book of the series, Dark Prince by Christine Feehan. I need a man with strength of character, personality, loyalty, etc, like Mikhail Dubrinsky, Prince of the Carpathians. (NO it does not have pictures, but then you read the articles, not look at the pictures, right?) The future Mr. Marvi doesn’t have to match up physically, after all they ARE fictional (though anyone that happens to match the description of Mikhail will not be turned away). But I’ve encountered a few men that possess this kind of character, and I am certain you do too, or marrying you would be the furthest thing from my mind. In fact we won’t get past the first few dates. The Carpathian race cannot be unfaithful and cannot tolerate it in their mates. What a concept! They have a binding ritual of words, the equivalent to our marriage vows, which is deeper in my opinion. I want a man that is comfy with saying and meaning:
You are my lifemate.
I claim you as my lifemate.
I belong to you.
I offer my life for you.
I give you my protection.
I give you my allegiance.
I give you my heart.
I give you my soul.
I give you my body.
I take into my keeping the same that is yours.
Your life will be cherished by me for all my time.
Your life will be placed above my own for all time.
You are my lifemate.
You are bound to me for all eternity.
You are always in my care.
Seriously outstanding and beautiful, don’t you agree? Of course you do, dear future one, because we wouldn’t even be discussing a life together if you were not the kind of man that could say and mean those sorts of things. I am, after all, putting my future and life in your care, and more importantly my heart. If you are not up the task I am not for you. I won’t settle for anything less.
Marti Gardner 
[…] and is back to corresponding with me via comments on blog posts. He recently commented on my Letter To My Future Husband about our wedding vows. As is the case when Chuck leaves me a comment, I’m going to respond, because we have such […]
So when you say those vows… try not to blink uncontrollably, as my 2nd and 3rd wife did (she was the same person… I shoulda known), as the uncontrollable blinking shows the whole sincerity part is already lost. But what do you do then? What do you do when you realize at the last possible moment you are alone at the alter. You move forward in your new marriage saying I can change that… that’s what I did anyway. From “for better…” to “…in health”.
Seriously though, those are some great vows… while I’ve not lived them perfectly myself, I have lived them and I do have those expectations for my future. What’s interesting about vows is that many people look at them as if they are just words in a sentence when it comes to their day to day lives. The concept of belonging to one another takes on a negative connotation… my future bride will read “Love and Respect”. And she will understand my basic need for respect as I understand her basic need for love. Sometimes I do not know if I’ll ever be up for that again, but if I found her, The One, all those doubts would fade away. I’m absolutely certain that the doubts I have in others, that I carry on my shoulders like weights of gold vaulted up for protection, a sword held high and a shield held out will fall with a resounding crash to the earth and I will be whole again. Oh yeh, another thing that will always be certain about my bride, she will like watching Red’s games on TV with me at sports bars and stuff!