The Dating Diaries ~ Q & A

Today I am going to do a little Q & A session (that would be “question and answer” for those of you who, like me, discovered there was only enough leaded java in the house for ONE pot this morning, split between 3 women who would kill for less than a cup of coffee).  While I AM severely low on caffeine I will try ever so hard to answer this kind, new reader’s questions.  I’m helpful like that.  I know, you are impressed, right?

So, Chuck wrote the following comment on one of my entries:

Dear Most Incredibly Marvelous Martha, you goddess of all things Marvi, (okay he didn’t say that part but I’m taking artistic liberty here because, well, I can)

hmmm… This should be interesting. I just happen to run across your blog and noticed that you have a “dating dairies” section. I found it to be very interesting and thought maybe you could give me a few pointers. See, here’s my situation… I potentially may not know what I’m doing but I met this woman online last night, moments after I changed my profile to “view” from it being down for a while, her pic/profile popped up. I looked at her pics first… because that is the first litmus of whether to continue or not. After seeing she was quite beautiful in a variety of settings, I continued to read her profile. Well, to make a long story short we winked at one another, traded phone numbers, and friended ourselves on Facebook. She seems to be one of these creative types, good sense of humor, depth of character, and so on. Well, getting to the point here… what kind of places or activities might be appropriate for a first date with this type of woman, when might it be appropriate to ask her out? I’d be willing to let her pick the place, date, and time.

You adoring fan, (artistic liberty again)


I think I should consult with my Crystal Ball but I cannot find the damn Magic 8 ball it is in the shop for a tune up so I’ll have to wing it.

*draws the blinds to darken the room, lights candles, begins rubbing temples, chanting “oh spirits, enlighten me with the answers for this kind gent”, face contorts a bit…*

The spirits tell me that there are several appropriate first date options here, as I can just tell this lady is simple in her tastes, and enjoys the opportunity for conversation.

A picnic would be one option.  A lady can tell a lot about a gentleman by what he packs  to take her to a park  to munch, sip and talk.

My guess is she is also a bit of a sport buff, and might enjoy taking in a Reds game, either in a nice little sports bar that serves good food,  or at a game if it isn’t too hot and humid.  After all, a princess doesn’t feel real attractive if she is sweating like a pig glistening in the sunshine.

Dinner and a few rounds of putt-putt and then ice cream can also be fun and amusing.

She likely enjoys concerts in the park, especially the Cincinnati Pops, though any band playing in a park usually is good with her.

I’m feeling she likes casual attire and relaxed settings.

I also feel her Sunday afternoon and evening might be free, or an evening next week.

and….. darn, the spirits are fading away….

*blows out candles, and opens the blinds*

There you have it, Chuck, the spirits have spoken.

Good luck to you, sir, though something tells me  the stars are in alignment in your favor!  *wink*


  1. Marti, You could not have provided more perfect insight into this woman’s availability, her first date preferences, and, most importantly, her willingness to go on a date with me. The stars were aligned as you predicted they would be. The out of commission crystal ball could not have been more fruitful. All Hail Marti without balls. But I digress…
    I called her today for the first time and talked to her briefly. We quickly came to an agreement, as your suggestions hinted, to meet at a local venue during a time period you had suggested. That first call is always interesting. You never know what’s going to be on the other end… a southern drawl, jersey accent, valley girl, jive talk, or even worse, a WVU Mountaineer. You have to be ready for anything and be sure to point out nothing. Normally when calling and speaking to someone for the first time I simply state small, medium, or large, then toppings, and lastly crust type. But this call is different and an evening meal comparative is overly understated. This call could be the beginning of a significant life change. It holds untold opportunity. I won’t say my palms were sweating, but I do take the “first call” serious and given the gravity of it all, may have stammered more than once. As I recall, her voice was soft, contradicting the strength she projects in her online dating profile, however, she was decisive and her words were spoken with confidence. She had a happy, upbeat, and positive sounding voice. But the conversation did get a bit strange at times as sporadically her voice would change to what can only be described as a crying baby sound. I immediately started thinking about golf and bark collars, places that are quiet or things that make quiet… I certainly didn’t see that daydream coming right in the middle of this potentially life changing conversation. Any stammering may have been rooted in getting back to my original train of thought to ask this woman out and to firm up a place and time. The closing of the call was quite awkward also as she went full tilt into the crying baby voice again and I could tell from my view at the 7th tee that she was quite distracted. But all’s well that ends well and she and I are lined up…
    At your pleasure, I may post from time to time to keep you updated on my progress.

    Your grateful subject,


  2. Dear Marvi Marti…I just love your sense of humor and your creativity with regard to your writing and your life. I really enjoy reading your posts…I may not always comment, but I always read…Pinkim

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